As I hope to do the full OCA Textile Design degree, I have purchased some literature to help me learn more about textiles and to help me understand some of the concepts and designers. I looked for as many as possible on the course reading list but some were out of print. I did visit Waterstones bookshop in Birmingham and was disappointed by the lack of books on textiles so used Amazon instead.

When the books arrived I was absolutely fascinated to read them, especially about the fabric sketchbooks as I had never thought of using thread as a pen and means of drawing. I started to make sense of using threads, fabric textures, colours and other media such as paper to create something meaningful and expressive when I had only thought that this could be done with paper and pen or paint brush.

One issue that I have to try and overcome is my need for perfection and precision. I was raised to do my very best, to be competitive and to excel and so when I am trying to make something and it isn’t quite right then I feel disappointed in myself. If a seam is crooked, then I will focus on that one seam rather than look at the rest of the sewn item which is fine. For ideas to flow, the compartmentalised system I have always used will have to learn to be flexible and adaptable to change.

My drawing skills are limited and I don’t want this to spoil my enjoyment of the course as from what I have read in the books so far and the course materials is that drawing is an interpretation, it does not have to be as perfect and accurate as a photograph or famous painting but rather to give a unique sense of what I am seeing and how it makes me feel and think.

I’ve often felt that when handling fabric as it is a multi sensory experience to touch and see and also hear the fabric when it moves. From the crunch of raw silk, the swishy drool of satin and the rasp of hessian, fabric gives more than just being pleasing to the eye. I often close my eyes and run my hand down the rack on which I keep my fabric stash and love to identify each, the velvet and the cotton, the linen and cheesecloth, the brocade and calico. All giving a different flavour and I can often recall when and where I bought pieces and then when meeting with other sewing friends, we quietly admit that we bought certain pieces without a specific project in mind but just simply to own it.

So I need to cast aside ‘you must’ and ‘you should’ and consider using ‘perhaps’ and ‘maybe’ and learn to float ideas rather than stick to rigid thinking. To think of layers beneath instead of the top coat and to try and convey texture instead of gloss.

One thing that we do well as a family is to Womble. We make use of things other people may cast off. My father would nimbly vault into a skip to fetch out treasures and I grew up with this theme. The earliest one I recall is my father coming home with a car boot crammed with books. He was Head of Science at a local school and there had been a fire in the library, the books that did not burn were badly smoke damaged and were deemed useless. The idea of throwing books away is alien to my father and so he amassed as many as possible and proudly brought them home. Even years later the books still held that smell but I loved them and read the encyclopaedias, the science and biology books and the books about animals.

My favourite wombling moment was when a work colleague and I had begun sewing together and found a local curtain shop was downsizing. They had a large skip outside which we gleefully got in and began investigating, just as our area manager walked past. The shop owner was intrigued but let us carry on and so we dove to the very depths of the skip and found many varieties with which we were delighted and also that they would not go to landfill. My other moment was when I was poking about in the woodpile at home and found the perfect round piece of dowel rod which fitted just right in my hand. From that piece I was able to plan and make my own wedding bouquet from fabric flowers I created with vintage brooches and a piece that I am still proud of today.

That is the theme that I want to try with this course, to reuse and repurpose as much as possible and to reduce waste.